Married But In Love With Another Man. What To Do?

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A man I had known for seven years. What it was costing Sally Sue, my lover, to be involved with me. Dear Full Heart, You actually are full in love.

Think about this are you ready to see your wife with someone else loving her and your kids. But I confess to feeling bored. Of course any strange fetish is open to psychological interpretation—analyze spanking a partner for being a bad boy, Dr.

Married But In Love With Another Man. What To Do?

Sadly, the best advice may be to just live with it. Because reality will come back to hit you, and it always hurts tremendously. If you try to uproot your entire life and recreate a new marriage with the mistress or mantressit never works out the way you planned or wanted. There is always emotional baggage to deal with, hurt feelings of family and friends, lack of trust. Most of the re-marriages never work out - they self-destruct in months, oftentimes. People fall in love with a fantasy and so reality is transformed into a nightmare. Just caring about another person. Just why do i love another man how things might have been. Half the guilt, half the suffering, none of the physical pleasure. Ironically, people know all these things in advance. So when a person decides to open their heart to a lover, they are basically asking for misery. They want to love someone else - and loving someone else involves suffering for someone else. They want the drama, they want the ambivalence and dysfunction. We chase after what we want…and we suffer by our own choice. I hope I'll help you at least a little bit. The later you tell him the harder it will strike him. Right now, he is living with wife who loves someone else. I am sure he can feel that something is different, That you are not happy. Is he supposed to be happy then. Tell him, ask him, lead a dialogue. It is about your emotions, your happiness and your life. The answer has to came from your inner self. This time Brain won't help you. He is very poor in taking Love into the consideration. This time you have to trust your Gut. Somewhere down deep inside you, you already know what is the right decision. If you are not sure what your Gut says, flip a coin. Designate each side of the coin for one of your two choices. Flip the coin and cover it with your hand. Now, instead of looking at the coin, think about which result you hoped would be revealed. Most people have a subconscious desire for one decision or another to be chosen and tapping into your intuition can help you overcome decisions that can't be decided by reason alone. It only serves to understand your inner voice. In the future your doubts won't leave you. They will chase you in your dreams. And you won't ever be able to take the time back. It doesn't matter how you decide. At least you'll go somewhere instead of being burried on the spot of unhappiness. Maybe you are going to break up with your husband anyway. Maybe you will regret that you left your husband. Just try to do your best to be happy now. You have only one life, don't waste it behind a mask of lies. Do you still love your husband. If the answer is yes, then forget the other man. If the answer is no, I would think a little harder about that question. Let's go through the following scenarios: 1. You think you love this other man, but is it really love. Could it be that you're seeing that grass that's always greener. Spice it up with your husband. Remind yourself why you fell in love with your husband in the first place. You love d this man enough that you decided you wanted to spend the rest of your life with him. Do new things, spend more time together, relive old dates that were particularly memorable. If you break away from this marriage, there's no turning back. If it really is a grass is always greener scenario, you will immediately regret anything that goes against your marriage, and you will be unable to do anything to bring it back to what it once was. You don't love your husband anymore, but you know that you did at one time. Perhaps you should try to, as I said in the first scenario, remember why you loved him in the first place. This isn't an easy situation, and all emotional response is likely going to be a result of your actions. You don't know why you married him why do i love another man the first place. I know there are people who marry out of convenience, expectation, etc. Some get married because they feel obligated, whereas some legitimately don't know why they did. The sooner you end this relationship, the better. It's likely going to end anyway. Being married to someone you never loved is caustic to both parties. If you ever did love him, it's up to you to try to salvage it. If you never loved him, you might consider trying to see if there is any way you can develop a love for him. Whatever the case, I would advise staying with your husband and distancing yourself as much as possible from this other man. You made a commitment, and you know what goes into commitments. Lots of hard work and compromise. Don't go with the easy solution of just leaving and trying things with this other man. In the short term it may seem easier, but it will make things a lot harder and more painful in the long run. Nothing worthwhile is easy, so please. Try try try to make things work. Try to remember why you do or did love your husband. Lies beget lies and the next turn will be you 2this man is triangulating in another mans Home, you both will be lying to yourselves and each otheralready you are-The Trust is non-existent by your own actions you have set up your paramour to see that you are untrustworthy in action. Will this man consider your feelings when he finds the next married women. Men often fall for married women because it makes them feel powerful to be able to overlord the other man Namely your husband ,they have commitment fears have Control issues. I will advice that the possibility of your punishment lies hidden in what you illusion is the prize. There is an entire page list of life lessons that will follow this course that I could why do i love another man share with you Dear lady it is already on the launch pad once its lift off on a one way course to destroy you in the end as well as your marriage I urge you to reconsider this good advice. I mean this with all sincerity Do what is right You will not regret that One Day. I suggest reading up on cyber addictions, cyber infidelities, cyberpsychology, etc. Most times in today's world, the internet contributes to divorce in one way or another. Let me know and we can go from there. I'd hate to see you throw away something that was perfectly normal, that was clouded by cyber addictions and toxic people. You have to answer that question before you can proceed. Your basic choice is stay married or leave, think about this for a while. Take a week and pretend that you are going to leave your husband, live with the decision, then take a week and imagine you're going to stay. Whatever you decide you're going to have to live with it for a long time so take your time deciding. If you decide to stay with your husband then you should avoid this man you're in love with. Those are powerful feelings and they will stick around as long as you're in contact with him. The more distance you put between you the sooner those feelings will subside. If you decide to leave your husband then you should take it slow with this other man. You need some time to yourself to sort out what is just you and what was the combination of you and the person you've been married to. If you want any relationship to be healthy in the future you need to be ready for them and running straight out of a divorce is not often a good way to be ready. But most of all don't punish yourself for falling in love while you're married. You can't control when you're going to find someone who makes you feel that way. Just behave yourself and think about what you're doing.

I'm not talking about extravagant dinners or date nights although these are fine too. I take care of her and my kids on all they need. I did not love him at the time of marriage, but decided to get married because 1 in the ten years preceding my marriage, my parents had become increasingly derisive about my age and the need to settle down, and 2 my husband was the first man I slept with. And when the other guy is around, he spoils my daughter and plays with her! He s a great father and person to everyone else. Ive never heard her moan like this, i was filled with so much rage and wanted to use the. Dear Anonymous, I just read your post and I'm so thankful to have found someone in the same boat because there is no one I know to talk to that could understand. Now that im doing alright but not good. He says that he tired from work all the time. It doesn't matter how you decide. He told me there were to be no feelings involved, but I fell for him and became wrapped up in him. January 10, 2015 at 5:09 pm Hi, Reading all the comments has been extremely useful, thank you for that already.